Relaxing Spa Day followed by Scary Amniocentesis

Hello Preggo Followers!

It’s been exactly a week since my birthday! Which was lovely. It’s definitely different having a pregnant birthday. I LOVE birthdays. I usually feel excited about for weeks in advance and in the old days I’d have at least 2 nights out to celebrate, one each weekend surrounding it. This is because I love a good booze up with my mates! Of course things are slightly different with a young child, the amount I drink and the hour I hit the sack mainly! Altho I would still give it a good go but of course this time, no booze for me!  

Brilliant Cake bought by Brilliant Laura Mccabe!

I was woken extremely early by a very noisy little boy inSISTING on getting into bed with me for cuddles despite me trying to coax him into waking daddy instead. Then a bit later (after I had persuaded him to go to daddy) they both came in bearing gifts. Gus got into bed, insisted on opening ALL of my presents and most of my cards….then upon being told he had to go to nursery he had the most almighty tantrum, declaring that it was in fact HIS birthday and not mummy’s as Emlyn carted him off out of the room under his arm! Aw, *SO* proud….!!!!

At this point I'd like to do a little shout out (hahahahahahahaha as if I am a Radio 1 DJ!!!!) to my lovely, sexy, silly husband who I think is getting a little baby number 2 insecurity! He asked me to include some more initimate stuff about his prowess but I think we'll leave it there.......

After making myself breakfast in bed I then got ready for my pampering day at the Vale hotel and it didn’t disappoint. Which is rare for me because I am fussy beyond when it comes to Spas! The last time I went to the Celtic Manor (so posh it held the Ryder cup recently) I wrote a complaint letter with a list as long as my arm about the state of the place!

The place was lovely, the staff all very friendly and not snotty at all…even when I made a joking complaint about the one-size-fits-all robes needing an extra panel for the obese and the pregnant! (I did have to go around with a towel wrapped over the bottom half of my robe to prevent people being able to see what I had for breakfast….embarrassing!) I had a head-to-toe pregnancy package which was divine…the smells of all the products were delish. During this I had a mini facial which was perfectly executed with soft, gentle sweeping movements over my face. My next treatment was also a longer facial…because I didn’t want to have to lie on my front and squash the bump! This lady was not so gentle…in fact it felt like she’d just picked up a rough old rag at one point and was giving me a vigorous spit wash! I actually asked her if I had inadvertently booked a “stimulating” facial by mistake and she said no, but would I like one??????? Hahahahah! Er NO THANKS! I’d like to have some skin left on my face by the end of the session!

Nice!

 OK so I said I had no complaints and now I’ve just moaned about one of the treatments….but actually, she was SO lovely, and gave me some good advice about the eczema on my hands and she was so well meaning that it didn’t impact negatively on my day at all. I had a lovely relaxing day (the heated water beds were amaaaaaaaaaaaazing) and loved spending the day with my mum, giggling and being inappropriate in the pool….ie telling each other gross stories a LITTLE too loud…. Hers out did mine tho….it involved an old friend, tampon hunting and misplaced Deep Heat….I’ll say no more…!!!!

Even tho I think facials in general are supposed to help with skin complaints, nothing seems to help my pregnancy rosacea. (See photo) It looks like I’ve got a ruddy great whitehead on my face that I should just pop but it’s actually solid underneath…SO ugly! I have discovered that tea tree helps tho…which is a probably a no-brainer to anyone else seeing as rosacea is a form of acne and this is what you put on normal spots…but what can I say?! I’m slow!

I had a bit of a surprising phone call on Monday. They rang to tell me that the results from my Down’s syndrome blood test last week have come back in the higher risk category. It was surprising because I was arrogantly assuming that even tho I am old as buggerey at 37 I wasn’t in that category last pregnancy and that was only 3 years ago. And I don’t think of myself as old at all AND despite being a big heifer I think of myself as quite healthy. Some people are probably amazed to read that someone of my weight would think that….I know, it’s called denial! And I base it on the fact that I never get coughs and colds so I thought that meant my immune system was quite good ergo I am healthy etc!

So anyway I immediately started panicking and thinking of the options and the horrors surrounding some of the decisions you might make in this situation and even more so when I found out that we might not get the results back for 3 weeks…in which time I will be having my anomaly scan and finding out the sex and really seeing my baby as a human being properly for the first time etc etc. But I wanted to know definitively so I booked in for an amniocentesis yesterday morning. Which I am really glad of now. They actually told me that my risk still came back as quite low (less than 1%) but that it was under the threshold of whether they call you back or not, hence the phone call. I also felt reassured that even tho there is a 1% risk of miscarriage from amnio’s, with the amount that are carried out in the UHW that figure is actually lower because it’s based on a national average.

An amnio is where they stick a really long needle into your belly and extract a sample bottle’s worth of amniotic fluid so they can analyse the chromosomes of the baby. The one good thing was that you have to be scanned beforehand to make sure the needle doesn’t go near the baby. So that was lovely because ever since I started to feel better I had silly notions that perhaps it meant there was something wrong with the baby! But he was there with his 2 arms and legs, beating heart and Gus shaped nose! I say boy cos he looks like a boy! But we couldn’t find out anything about the sex.

They tell you the amnio is UNCOMFORTABLE not “painful”. Bull. It HURT! The consultant was brilliant tho, and made me laugh throughout….even tho that actually made it a bit worse! But it felt like a very slim knife going thru my belly button…..eeeeoouch!

Luckily they tell me we get the results in 3 day’s time and not 3 weeks. I am obviously nervous but not as nervous as I was after the initial phone call. I’ll check in as soon as I know what the results are but my fingers are crossed.

Sex and Flutters

It’s been less than a week since my last post…wow….I MUST be feeling better!

OK so last week I just went on about how I was feeling. This week I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to. I went swimming! Mum and I took Gus swimming which was brilliant for 2 reasons. Firstly because he finally seems to be emerging from the being obsessed with Daddy only phase and was genuinely excited to be with me in the pool….every time I went off to do some lengths he spent the time bellowing after me and waving frantically! VERY CUTE and made me feel privileged as I don’t normally receive such enthusiasm from him! And Secondly because as I was swimming one of those lengths I felt NORMAL….I suddenly felt like “oh wow, this is how you’re SUPPOSED to feel when you are pregnant….I am doing a normal pregnancy thing! Next I’ll be doing pregnancy yoga and massaging my perineum!” OK I didn’t really think that last bit…..

It did feel like a total revelation to me. 

And then it also made me think…..So this pregnancy IS different. If that’s the case, am I definitely having a boy? I’m 16 weeks tomorrow so I haven’t had my sexing scan yet. But ever since I was a kid, I’ve always KNOWN I’ll only ever have boys. Yeah this IS ridiculous, it’s not based on any scientific fact or ANYTHING but I’m still convinced. And I don’t mind…I LOVE boys and I especially love little boys (however boisterous and noisy and relentless they are *eyeballs Gus*). But I can’t help thinking that when (ok IF) I find out it’s a boy, I might be sad never to have had a girl. I will be DELIGHTED with whatever and sincerely mean that. In fact I am wanting to find out so that I can get used to the idea and not have even a flicker of disappointment on their chosen day of arrival….just in case that’s a possibility. Am I even making sense here?!

I only think I will be sad because I really, really cherish the relationship I have with my mum and my grandma and had with my nana. Girls are (in my experience….before you jump down my throat and accuse me of sexism!) generally more thoughtful and considerate as daughters. They tend to remember birthdays and care about things like Mother’s day etc. E.g. if it wasn’t for me, my mum would have had 15 years’ worth of Elton John tapes (it was the 80’s!) and Mars bars in her Xmas stocking every year! This is a really shallow pathetic thing to admit isn’t it?! I want a girl so she buys me nice presents!!!! Well considering it’s the first thing I’ve mentioned it MUST be true!!! Hopefully I am not ACTUALLY that completely shallow and materialistic. Other reasons are having someone who sympathises with you on an emotional/hormonal level, someone you can go on girlie days out with and go shopping with.

Of course this is potentially moot if I have a girl that’s a complete tom boy who is emotionally stunted and Gus turns out to be a super-sensitive mummy’s boy! (Unlikely given his history so far, swimming or NO swimming!) . SO I know you can never tell. I’ll probably be far more concerned about getting them thru their exams with theirs/our sanity intact let alone wistfully thinking of spa days and bellinis!

Thinking quite far ahead here aren’t I?! I wonder how I will feel about this all in 15 years’ time?! Anyway the point is, I feel excited because I really just don’t think I DO know what it’s going to be. Less than a month til I find out…..yey!!!!

Oh and this week I felt the he-she move! I was lying in the bath and felt the funny, tickly feeling of what I guess was some mini somersaults! It was lovely! I’ve missed that feeling. For months after having Gus I had phantom movements…..I loved it. It’s the one truly lush thing about being duffed up I think. A friend of mine said recently that she still gets phantom kicks even now and her youngest is about 9!

Btw I don’t have any photos of myself again this week. There’s not much to see….I did want to get one of my weird shaped bump but I can’t be bothered with doing a selfie today. I’ll try and take some when I am at the Spa on Wednesday. But I have included a delightful one of my crazy CRAZY son being held aloft by his very tall Uncle Mike.

See you on the flipside!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I really just don’t even know what that means………….)

Second Trimester AT LAST!

Finally I am feeling something that is resembling human again. Ugh. It’s been a LONG 9 weeks LET me tell thee! I wrote at the end of my last blog entry that I was going to try and be more positive but of course nothing I had to say would fit that description in the last 10 weeks or so! But finally I feel a change has come! I’ve been loathe to say this out loud for the last few weeks because I have been following a pattern of feeling okish in the week but spending all weekends puking and feeling drained and lethargic. So it seemed like every time I announced I was feeling better, I would spend the following weekend paying for it!

However. I just had my first weekend in the last 9 weeks in which I DIDN’T PUKE! Hoorah!!!!!!

I am now 15 weeks and into my second trimester. Traditionally most people DO feel better at around 12-15 weeks. This categorically didn’t happen to me in my first pregnancy. I didn’t feel better until 20 weeks. And I vividly remember people telling me that “any day now” I’d feel better and wanting to punch them in the Jackie Danny when I didn’t. In a metaphorical sense, obvs. I am way too much of a wimp to punch someone.

So feeling like this is a little bit of a mini revelation. Don’t get me wrong, I could very easily think myself into puking at any given moment, my stomach is still highly sensitive and I still can’t go NEAR garlic and onions (and therefore any food with any flavour) but in GENERAL….I have more energy and am feeling more positive.

Happy Gus!

Which was a godsend this weekend as I had a 3 year old’s soft play party to organise and host! Amazingly, my child did NOT behave true-to-form and have almighty tantrums all day. He was an angel! And I feel no embarrassment boasting about this because there have been many MANY occasions where this was not the case and I had to suck up the parental shame of dealing with a screaming brat in Tescos whilst fending off death-ray stares from non-parents (and some pious/cunty parents).

I did have a surreal moment when I was looking around at the room thinking, this is MY child’s party, I organised this, I am a grown up. It was weird! I know I should have grasped that last fact a while ago but sometimes it still surprises me!

Present opening!

Back to prego shiz. So I have started to show. In a very strange way. The top half of my belly has “popped” out whilst the bottom bit, which currently the only part harbouring any babyesque solid mass, is still completely jellified. I mean, I can feel the beginnings of a bump underneath the flab on my lower abdomen but you can’t see it. So my whole tummy just looks like a barrel of fat. But then, I have put on weight from eating rubbish constantly so it looks like fat because it mainly is. It’s just shaped in an off way.

Still haven’t heard a thing from my community midwife. Nice work NHS!

My birthday next week…am going to get pampered to death at the Vale of Glamorgan Hotel and Spa. Can’t wait!!!! Literally this is probably the ONLY thing I am looking forward to until October 29^th!

Oh one more thing, I spent last pregnancy looking like a minging dog-face. This time, despite the haggard & aged skin underneath, I am plastering on the make up; waxing to the hilt and making sure there’s not a grey hair in sight on the old bonce. I think it makes a difference. I FEEL less disgusting when I make an effort. Is that a vacuous thing to say?! Don’t answer that…..

Right I am offski. Will try and post a bit more regularly now, you lucky lucky dabbers!

TTFN!

First post with shiny, new content. Warning: Moaning in Use.

So the blog is back! But in a different guise. What was really a vehicle for my egotistical rants & rambles about something and nothing, thinly veiled as a weight loss blog has now become one with much the same content but now thinly veiled as a pregnancy blog.

It’s really a self-serving online diary where I get to try and amuse my readers with my witty observations of an obese, pregnant mother whilst basking in the glory of knowing that at least 3 people will read it (my mum, my work colleague and at least one of my friends). If that sounds like something you’d be interested in dear reader, then please step this way…..

Also, those of you who endured my first pregnancy will already suspect that this might not be the most positive thinking, sparkly, happy, glowy pregnancy blog in the world. But then, those of you that read me previously will know that that’s not a fitting description of me, period. My first pregnancy was hard. I had pretty much every complication you could get and hated the whole 9 months. This pregnancy, the most unpleasant side effects (constant sickness/nausea and aversion to all food containing onions or garlic…which let me tell you are in EVERYTHING ) started slightly later (I started to naively think that perhaps I might actually miss out on it altogether this time….WRONG!!!). Altho I haven’t had my dating scan yet….so my dates could be wrong. I am 8+3 today (that’s 8 weeks and 3 days for newbies to prego lingo). But also, and this is very much tempting fate, I don’t actually think I am as ill as last time. Even tho I feel horrific, and last week I couldn’t keep anything down or get out of bed, this week I am actually in work and managing to tentatively re-acquaint myself with society.

Let me just firstly state tho, before people get completely the wrong impression….I am very happy that I got pregnant, especially with such little effort considering my advancing years and waistline. I know we are extremely fortunate to already have one very healthy, happy, silly, brilliant child and therefore are even more excited that we have another one on the way. I realise that it’s not a given for everyone and that many people would and have done almost anything to be in my position. At no point in my whinings does this ever stray from my mind. If you feel that you might run out of patience for a whinging prego then may I advise you to look away now.

This is a list I posted on twitter and Facebook but my husband said it was a bit harsh. I actually think that it just may explain to people that some of the “helpful” advice they are imparting is not necessarily that helpful. I don’t profess to have full on Hyperemis Gravidarum. I think at points in my previous pregnancy I did but I definitely identify more with people with HG than normal morning sickness. In my last pregnancy I was sick until I gave birth (I can’t tell you how elated I was that they decided to induce me at 37+5 weeks…) and I had full on aversions that made it impossible to eat anything other than white, carby food, be in a room where someone had eaten garlic, sleep in the same room as my husband, share an office with anyone who had eaten garlic. It sounds absurd but seriously, the smell of garlic to me took on the revulsion factor of vomit to a normal person. I also have that aversion this time and I am already sick of cheese sandwiches and plain rice with soy sauce for dinner.

Here is the list: https://sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/what-to-say-when

Oh and I do have anti sickness drugs…they are good in that they stop you puking but you still feel sick as a pig and they knock you out for the count. Which is a nice way to get thru the day but not very practical with a toddler in tow. I am tending to use them to keep down my breakfast and go to sleep at night right now. I might indulge in an all-dayer anti sickness binge on Saturday when I don’t have to worry about Gus or work. God times have changed!!!! An anti-sickness all-dayer? Do I know how to party or WHAT???????

I have become (If this is possible) even more insular and self obsessed than ever during this period of sickness. I am finding it extremely difficult to focus on other people’s lives or events and I realise that right now that makes me an uber shit friend. For this I want to apologise. I am praying that the fug of nausea will clear over the next few weeks at least to the point where I can remember to send a birthday card or ask a friend how her choir concert/skate bout/family outing etc went.

Anyway thanks for reading my first and fairly miserable pregnancy blog! I hope to be a bit more positive each time I write. But I am not promising anything ok?! 

Raising Shedloads for Charideeee & Hypnotherapy

Hello blogulars!

Looking hot...you know as in hot.

The last week went by in such a flash! It’s a really busy time of year in work so my work days raced by. I did zumba 3 times this week (including this morning) and loved every minute of it. Definitely feeling fitter than when I first went back after Christmas but for some reason I am aching this evening. Lightweight! (Not literally obvs). And for some reason my face went BEETROOT in the class! Very embarrassing. I can’t even blame it being a particularly hard class.

Chin Chin!

So it was the end of the Dryathlon! The last week without booze was absolutely fine. I was actually a bit nervous when I was getting ready to go out on Friday. I’ve given up booze for chunks of about 3 weeks before now and not really noticed any difference when I’ve then had a few. And obviously I didn’t drink when I was preggers but my reintroduction to booze after that was obviously very gentle. But everyone was saying how DRUNK I was going to be Friday night when I went out with my NCT mums. They were right! I did pace myself but flip! I was tootled! Got a bit bossy and slurry by the end from what I remember. Oh dear…. Don’t think I managed to offend anyone tho.....THIS time... 

The whole experience has taught me a few things. ONE, I am not the massive alkie that I always assume I am. It wasn’t really hard at all not drinking. I didn’t have terrible cravings. There were times when I really really fancied a glass or two of wine but I didn’t NEED it.

TWO, all the digestive aches and pains that I fear are my liver or kidneys collapsing obviously aren’t! I still got random aches and pains and in conclusion this must just be an age thing! God! THREE, booze isn’t solely responsible for my weight fluctuations. Lots of people expected that I would have lost weight just from not drinking alone but actually no, it was just as hard to lose weight without it. And as FOR my weight loss…um. Yeah. More about that later….

It’s also shown me that when and if I get pregnant this year, I won’t be panicking about not being able to drink. Just as I didn’t last time. Sometimes I really underestimate myself.

Hello Darkness, my old friend....

I think it’s a really good thing to do tho. I feel so much better for it. My moods have been more stable, I’ve had way more energy, and my hormones haven’t been all over the place. I think it’s probably made me a nicer person! Even tho Emlyn always accuses me of being a grump when I am hungover, I didn’t really believe him. But (sssssh) I think he might be right…

SO I think I might try and stick to having some more regular chunks of booze free. 2 week blocks….which include at least 2 weekends! Before if I used to do a 2 week stint…I’d start it on the Sunday and finish a week on the Friday…so effectively I was only having one weekend off!

But finally the best most important thing about this whole thing is that I managed to raise a staggering £646 for Cancer Research! Just for giving up booze! My friends and family are flipping AWESOME! I feel SOOOO chuffed to have such generous people in my life! Especially considering that this wasn’t some huge physical challenge involving months and months of training or anything like that. So an absolutely MASSIVE thank you to EVERYONE who supported! You guys are the BOMB!!!!

And before I go, a little mention about my weight/diet etc. I haven’t been doing brilliantly to be honest. I still have this silly mentality that if I am giving up one vice, I can’t give up all. Eg no booze means I couldn’t POSSIBLY diet at the same time, despite that actually being the perfect time TO diet. I haven’t gone completely nuts tho. I am still making SOME good choices…boring muesli breakfast, snacking on fruit, not having a cake here or a muffin there. But then other times I have had things i shouldn't have.

I actually went to a friend for a Hypnotherapy session tho last weekend and that was a very positive and encouraging experience. I have had hypnotherapy before but I wasn’t convinced. However, the reasons I wasn’t convinced were not the hypnotherapy itself. It was a regression technique the therapist tried on me which didn’t work. For me, being hypnotised feels like just being in a very, very relaxed state. You are completely in control of your faculties and you are able to think normally. I don’t think you are able to access memories not previously available to you so I ended up just making something up because I was too embarrassed to just sit in silence! Plus he had a slight speech impediment and an annoying accent….both too distracting to this fusspot!

Louise however was fab. Very friendly, encouraging, compassionate, relatable, positive and happy. It’s impossible not to feel relaxed in her company. Her technique was great. Firstly we had a very thorough consultation about my health, eating habits, likes and dislikes etc then it was time to be taken under. She talked me into the relaxed “hypnotic” state and then did some great and graphic visualisation exercises. Then there was a section of gentle advice and then I was brought back to a wakeful state. When I left her premises I went straight to the fruit stall to stock up! I’ve definitely been more inclined to eat fresh, home cooked healthy foods rather than junk. I would like to have more sessions and I have bought one for my mum to help her with insomnia.

If you fancy a session or would just like to know more about it then here's the link to her website: http://www.my-happy-life.co.uk/

Right so this week will be about eating sensibly, healthy foods, not starting bad habits with booze again, going to zumba and sticking to my points allowance!!! Oh and tracking. Have a good week and I’ll check in on weigh in day!

Bye FLF’s!!!!!!!

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NOT driving, driving me NUTS!

Oh hey you guys! How goes it?

I am in a weirdy kinda mood at the moment. Since the snow bollox I’ve basically been house bound. And the weather conditions haven’t improved much in terms of travelling by bike. Gale force winds and driving rain, even KERRAAAZY hail that was still outside our house in the morning from a 30 second burst the previous evening. Global warming, eh?!

This coupled with the fact that all my zumba buddies have got themselves other obsessions (eg skating) or colds or husbands with anti-zumba shifts means that my motivation for getting out there is even lower than normal. Which I hate. And don’t get me wrong…I’m not blaming these things on my buddies!!!! I completely understand what it’s like when you get into something you love…esp with the skating, because that’s actually something the whole family can do. It’s the non SELFISH sport! Haha!

"NOT being able to drive" face

What this boils down to is my lack of ability to drive. It’s driving me nuts. It’s never bothered me before as much as it’s bothering me now. I feel like if I could drive (and had a car….a small, expensive detail I seem to be forgetting in my fantasy!) it would solve my childcare issues in September, I could go out and be the designated driver and not get wasted and drink all my weekly propoints (!), I could take Gus out on our days together, I could take mySELF shopping, But most IMPORTANTLY I could drive to a zumba class EVERYDAY!

Perhaps I need to do a big sponsorship drive like my Dryathlon?! I’ve raised over £500 for that and there’s still 3 days left! NEW CHALLENGE: Get Jess DRIVING!!!!! Do you think people would cough up for my driving lessons if I …I dunno….gave up…um….er…yeah it’s not going to happen is it?! Booze was the hardest thing for me to give up. Nothing else is a challenge! And we all know I’m not to fit enough to do some sporting activity, I’d probably collapse in a perspiring pool of liquid cellulite if I attempted some “eighth” marathon. Plus I’m forgetting that no one in their right mind would actually sponsor you to line your own pockets would they???!

But back on to the topic of booze. So it seems I am not actually an alkie! Who knew?! I’m not craving booze at all. I would be more than able to do longer, If I didn’t have other plans! I have also stopped being so excited about Friday night (when I go out for a meal and booze with my NCT biatches). Obviously I AM excited but more about the whole evening and not just glugging shiraz down my cakehole. It’s really weird! If you’d have told me at the beginning of January that I would feel this indifferent to booze, I’d NEVER have believed you. I am SOOOOOO glad I have had this month off. It’s the best decision I’ve made in YEARS. Which probably speaks volumes about my questionable decision making ability…..

Oh yeah but the big thing I’ve been avoiding here is diet. Yeah that’s not been great. The weigh in was snowed off last wed which I was secretly relieved about. I think the big loss the week before wasn’t perhaps a true reflection of my weight and I felt like I’d put on. So I thought, great, I’ve got a week to get it back off. But no. I haven’t managed to lose any weight this week so am anticipating a gain tomo. Boo. I still blame the snow, when really of course It’s my utter pantsness.

Will check in some time later in the week to let you know the bad news mofoos!

HAVE A GOOD WEEK Y’ALL! 

Snow etc

Hi Flf’s!!! I started this year being a bit prolific with my blog but have somewhat stagnated. Fear not tho, this doesn’t mean lack of weight loss! Indeed, I actually lost 5.5lbs last wed….I am *SO* chuffed! Really excited about being less than a stone away from what I was at my lowest last year.

Gus, Dyn Eira & Moi

But then, snowmaggedon in South Wales happened.

 Uh-oh. I can’t pretend that I didn’t already start the week being lazy tho. I had people due over for both lunch and dinner last Friday and then for lunch again on the Saturday. So I chose to stay in and cook on the thurs night instead of go to zumba….despite having 2 potential zumba buddies AND a swim partner after. AND THEN….I didn’t even end up cooking anyway because it became clear that due to the snow, no one was going to make it over on Friday OR Saturday! I am REALLY annoyed with myself. I huddled under a blanket on my sofa and froze instead of getting up off my butt and doing something. I think I have some circulation problem because once I get cold, I get REALLY cold and it takes me flipping ages to warm up (literally hours). The only way to do it, is to get up and do something but I am so cold that I usually just end up hoping I’ll get warm by shivering under a pile of fluffy, synthetic materials (no lighting matches near me!) I pretty much NEVER get warm this way, but yet I never learn. IDIOT! Mind you, if you DID light a match near me…I guess I’d warm up pretty quick then….

So as a result, I haven’t properly tracked over the weekend but I haven’t done anything particularly active either. Grrrr! I am now in the stupid mindset of, ok well I am having a bad week (food wise….everything else is great!) so I might as well stay off the wagon til weigh in. Which is SO dumb. Right at the beginning of the diet this time, I said I really liked that you have a daily allowance so that if you fall off one day, you can start again the next. I need to do this. Ugh!!!!

I’ve just had 6 chocolates from a shared box of chocolates in the office. A SHARED box. What the hell is wrong with me??? I am such a greedy pig. Right that’s IT. I am going to track EVERYTHING I ate today. Even the butter on toast this morning and then ten thousand sugar’s in my take away Americano. Well you HAVE to have ten thousand because those stupid little tubes are no way ONE teaspoon and those take away cups are HUGE. And I’m not having milk so it’s ok, right? RIGHT?!

Anyhoo, apart from the not sticking to the diet and no exercise thing (ahem!) I’ve had a good week. The 3 day weekend thanks to the snow was a nice little treat. Gus made his first Dyn Eira (snowman), I made a lovely low fat/lowish point lasagne (which I will do a recipe post about cos it’s awesome and filling) and I’ve decided that I now want my style to emulate that of Don & Megan Draper’s in the 5^th series of Mad Men.

 I know this last statement is completely ridiculous and vacuous. What the hell does it even mean?! I just basically want their lives and their money and to live in Manhattan in the mid 60’s and dress like Megan and look like Megan and especially have my Hair like Megan. But I guess I don’t really want to be married to Don Draper and the reasons are two fold. He’s a pig and Emlyn is awesome.

OK now I’ve wandered into blathering territory again. I am gonna go.

Enjoying a quite convincing but subsequently unsatisfying 0% Beer

Oh quick update on Dryalthlon…I’m still on it. Day 21…that’s 3 weeks sober dudes. It sucks, I have made plans for my wagon falling from 1^st onwards and I can’t flipping wait. I am NEVER voluntarily, without pregnancy, giving up booze again.

I’ll check in on wed. If I am feeling brave. BA!!!!!!

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